The seven stages ....

Coming back to the good old topic of love , how many of us really take love to be the journey as is told by poets, philosophers and thinkers.
There are divided opinions on whether love is infatuation or blind obsessions or just plain affection. During my search for the next subject to write on , I came across a brilliant definition for love. Call it a definition or romanticizing the idea, but the catch is , it makes one see a completely new aspect to love.

The concept goes something like this.

There are seven stages of love --

1.HAB (Attraction)
2. UNS (Infatuation)
3. ISHQ (Love)
4. AQEEDAT (Reverence)
5. IBADAT (Worship)
6. JUNOON (Obsession)
7. MAUT (Death)

When we talk of this , we stick to the love between a man and a woman. This set me thinking and I coudnt help but wonder, how perfectly the essence of a true relationship has been captured in these seven stages.
Yes it does romanticize it and the idea is way too utopian for  the ' Realists'  but it does put things in perspective for those who are ready to believe in the concept of love that is all - conquering.

I have my own take on each of these stages and it goes something like this --

HAB --

When one talks about looking at someone and falling for him/her instantly, it is a reference to the attraction that takes place on a physical level. The concept of 'love at first sight' isnt what i am pointing out. What is worth noting is that it all begins with plain attraction and it could be for reasons as lame as a clean-shaven look or a dress or for something as simple as a smile. See for yourself when you socialize or are surrounded by people. Its impossible to tell who has taken a fancy to you. Conversely you could easily take a liking towards someone on a whim. Its natural and very human....

UNNS --

Now , we come across so many people on a daily basis and we get attracted to more than one i am sure but then there comes someone who is beginning to become a bit more attention-worthy than others. That 'someone' occupies mind space at almost all times and its impossible to takle the image out of ur mind. Little things that are associated with that person begin to assume huge amounts of importance and before we know we cross the limit of attraction and enter a zone that is a little more focussed and singular in nature. In real life , this could happen owing to some level of interaction with that person and something that may just have clicked instantly. In certain cases , just stealing a glance can pump ur heart 10 times more than normal.

ISHQ --

The most misquoted, misused and misreferenced word of all. Now the picture of the person one is infatuated with is beginning to form something deeper and more meaningful within the mind. This is the stage when the interactions reach a personal level and the person is introduced to the 'real' side. It could be bright or dark depending on what is revealed. During the previous stage , the base for attraction was intrigue and physicality but on reaching here, the reasons are more platonic and beyond anything physical. The acceptance of the character flaws is beginning to take place albeit with a good amount of adjustment on part of both , but the intent of coming together is becoming more and more stronger. This is the level where a very normal feeling of comfort is experienced and the lovers learn to 'let go' as the undesired character traits are taken in stride.

AQEEDAT --

Beyond the stage of falling in love comes the stage where a considerable level of respect is developed between the partners , to the point that the feeling of loving each other is treated with reverence and respect. Repect here could be respect for the person, for the emotion that exists between the two. It reaches a point where ur partner takes precedence over any and everything else. This is critical given the times we live in where each person has a life of his/her own and is expected to understand the meaning of space. I personally believe that the definition for space is subjective but it can become an excuse for people to play god and see themselves as detached to any situation. When a level of respect has been reached the intensity of a relationship actually gets tested whether the intent to go all the way is still there or not.

IBADAT --

This is when the intensity of love towards one's partner reaches the level of god. He/she becomes the sole reason for one's existence and there is nothing that can come in between the two. At the beginning itself I had mentioned romanticizing the idea of love. This stage epitomizes that. We have been exposed to a lot of material which equates true love with the idea of god. This stage reiterates the fact that Love can actually take one over completely and leave nothing else or no other motivation for one's action. On a very personal note , me being the die hard romantic find this stage to be the perfect manifestation of the idea of love as this is when love happens with a level of unprecedented maturity and intensity which is a combination to be proud of. To be able to channelise all of one's energy and source it via love is an idea that is as difficult to achieve as it is beautiful to imagine.

JUNOON --

What is the next level of intensity beyond worship ? Obsession. At this stage the emotion of worship is mixed with blind possesiveness and that brings out the raw emotion hidden inside an individual. Reaching a state of obsession with the idea of love has the power to unleash the 'real' you as the sole intent of becoming one with the soul mate overpowers everything else. Obsession as a word itself has a very dangerous sound to it as it more often than not destroys things closest to you. In certain cases it may work out fine but as they say, when you fight for something you absolutely believe is yours , it tends to get messy. Come to think of it, you may end up surprising urself by going ahead and doing something u may never have imagined urself doing. Obsession does that to people and its power to make people ignore 'reason' is legendary.

MAUT --

I am a believer in the thing that only death can end true relationships. If something goes wrong between people and they end up separating , its helpful to accept the fact that the relationship was rigged from the start. It could have been immaturity, incorrect reasoning or just plain impulse. The topic of death is a dicey one as not many are comfotable with the idea of discussing it , thinking it to be not discussion worthy, but lets face it , it is the ultimate truth and if it has to come , it will. Think about it, before it actually comes to you, you have experienced true love and have actually managed to 'live' life.Trust me , death would not seem much of a bargain when compared with the feeling of being truly loved even once in life.

But then , thats why true love is so damn elusive...  and perhaps not meant for everybody...