From the world of psychopaths to the institution of marriage, the shift is too radical. But truth be told I like this sudden 'Reversal of Tone'. So ,marriage eh? I would suggest a little exercise here. Take the word MARRIAGE.Close ur eyes for 15 seconds. ....................... Done??? Now recall what came to ur mind in those 15 seconds.
Red roses?? A procession with the an over-decorated horse and over-fed relatives? A pandaal with the holy pyre in the middle. Star-lit sky?? Teary-eyed parents {Girls only here, the guy's parents are not losing anything are they ??} :)
If any of these above images came to u and even if nothing that I mentioned matched what u saw, just consider this that what u saw was as spontaneous as u cud be and was created by ur subconsious definition of marriage. Having said that, isnt it true as well, that this definition is at odds with the practical realities we associate with marriages. The greatest and most lovable aspect of all marriages especially Indian ones, is the sure-fire presence of some bottleneck or trouble that puts the entire plan into jeopardy. The general reaction --" WE ARE LIKE THIS ONLY".
But again on the point of marriage what really is a good definiton for marriage? Two people getting bound legally to live together ? Two people from different backgrounds deciding to give an official society-approved name to their relationship? Culmination of that thing called LOVE ? Two sets of families that decide to join hands via their children ?
Even I realise that bullshitting has been taken to a whole new level by these definitions but in modern times marriages have more to them than two people deciding to live together. How many times have we had people (married and supposedly happy!!) coming up to us and saying that marriage has taken the fun out of their relationship. People discovering umpteen number of new traits in their partners and realising that they actually hate that part. An alarming rise in the intensity of fights between couples. In certain cases partners resorting to infidelity even, as a last minute resort to spice up their dull, dreary ,married existence ....
People invest so much into a relationship and twice of that in marriage so why is it that, there seems no straightforward path to happiness. Happiness here primarily means being comfortable and living life without baggage everyday. Or in other less complex terms , leaving home with a smile , coming home all grumpy and then getting the smile back on spending time with one's partner. Simple requirements really , I mean how much does a smile really take? Realistically, a lot of work.. No kidding here!!
One of the most common approaches during the coutship period is of being at one's best behavior and projecting one's best self. Once the relationship is established, and the pressure of performance is taken out people begin to open up relatively. This is the critical time when true emotion is put to test. If two people believe strongly enough in a relationship to see this time through and decide on coming out of it together, chances are the marriage may last coz the number of unpleasant surprises to be see are considerably reduced.
Ego is another big challenge to overcome apart from cultural differences. Everyone knows what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object. One way of minimising damage is to talk and if need be TALK A LOT!! Just to get the negativity out of the system and hope to start afresh.
The next step is to convince the respective familes. This is the most tricky and challenging part, given the paradox of a society we live in where empowering kids is confused with deciding their paths in life which is decidedly good for them. Dubious but prevalent. This is critical specially in a country like India where parental approval basically stamps the sanctity of a relationship. The way towards achieveing it is subjective as one may have to overcome excessive emotional blackmail, arguments, heart-ache and the works. Taken as a burden or part of a package deal with Indian Love marriages , both the girl and the boy need to shoulder it equally because there's a good chance of the parents firing the final salvo of saying," Fine, go ahead but if tomorrow something is amiss, u are solely responsible, not me". Easy to ignore but effective enough to play on the mind.
Once married, begins the real process of adjustement which in popular parlance means NIBHAAOFYING.
This could be attending to unwanted but respected relatives from either side on a relaxed Sunday afternoon or trying to spare time for the partner out of a crushing schedule. The toughest of the lot, trying not to read too much into whats said in frustration as normally its not meant literally. It is testing and it gets on one's nerves. Get through this and u may scrape through.
Big words but I have an example at home of a Haryanvi Brahmin based out of Faridabad marrying a Tamil Brahmin lady with nothing in common, not even language. Based purely on emotion, their's is a love story to cherish but with its own share of challenges. Like any other couple these two have had to really really work hard to make their marriage work , what with both being pulled towards different directions by various factors.
Above all, a successfull marriage needs if nothing else , a genuine emotion of love (even extreme fondness or affection!!).
Enough sermonising, if nothing works just surrender the remote , and see magic unfold before ur eyes.. :D
Oh did i mention types of marriages? Love, arranged, love cum arranged!!! Frankly all of these require everything mentioned above, in varied degrees but the Remote trick works for all of them. Dont believe me?
Ask people who are married!!! :)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The psychosis behind a psychopath ......
Shifting gears from softer topics, lets consider for a moment, those people who are a part of society but arent really part of civil society. Havent we come across people in newpaper articles, in movies and other media , who are driven by some psychotic reasons to cause harm ? Cases ,where the problem investigative agencies face, is of establishing a motive behind the convict's actions. More often than not, the defendants plead psychological disorders to undergo treatment at an asylum and thts where the proceedings stop.
If you really scratch the surface you would realise that all this while , when a motive was being established or created depending on which side u r , the convicts have stayed silent and displayed a nonchalance that is amusing and scary at the same time. There is this amazing line that I read somewhere which went like," There are some men who cant be reasoned with. They dont treat murder as a crime. They are amused by it and the victim is their toy."
Personally I am yet to see or meet someone like this in person but I find it superbly interesting to read about these cases. But the catch is that what u read is what a third party percieves the case as , so u can never really reach the ABSOLUTE TRUTH if there is any. In normal cases anyway, our opinions are influenced by what we read and see. But have u ever tried going into the brain of a psychopath and see what really goes on in there that provides the drive for so much havoc he creates. One of the most horrific accounts that I have read is of a person who had a chance encounter with a serial-killer and he was pinned down and about to be axed when he saw the attacker's face. He could clearly recall that the face was as innocent as a little child's and had a constant smile on it. For some inexplicable reason, the attacker spared this guy but scarred him for life.He recounts the horror he faces everyday of his existence when he closes his eyes and sees those crystal clear eyes gleaming down on him.
The thing to notice about the horror here is not of the deed itself but the intent behind it which takes the fear to another level. In other words if there is a reason behind such an act atleast the mind can see reason and react accordingly but if someone is just playing and enjoying the process of killing so much, the fear is enough to make anyone go numb.
If one starts to get down to a reason behind the mind of man turning so violent, there could be any number of reasons. Most notably, repression, lifelong restrictions, childhood abuse or even something as innocuous as a snatched toy. The seed of extreme resentment is sown when one is faced with restriction or separation from something one loves or even a backstab from a loved one. For a fickle mind , its very easy to blame society for it and ask for revenge from everyone. There is no reason behind it but all the negative energy that gets stored in the brain such as anger and physicality takes a coldly brutal form in certain cases and creates what one calls a cold blooded, mass-murdering psychopath.
Moving to the other side and viewing it from civil society's perspective , its common sense to go by convention and tag a psychopath as anti-social and a criminal. And on the question of empathy , psychopaths deserve zero marks , again as per societal norms. Keeping this aside, isnt it a fact that these people are the creation of this very society that now chooses to disown them. Arent these psychopaths honest about their intent unlike us -- the members of society , who say something, mean something else and do something totally different. If u judge by character who wud u deem better, a chameleon or a tiger. Yes i may get raised eyebrows and a few chuckles for comparing a psychopath to a tiger but the point is of a single-minded honest intent. Still, nothing justifies taking human lives and all respect should be accorded to it, but judging people on the basis of a criterion that is itself created by flawed humans is a bit misplaced isnt it ???
So, who really is the psychopath?? The demented murderer who kills in cold blood or the scheming calculating civil person who kills by manipulation.
In am yet to figure out but isnt it a tough choice anyway ??
If you really scratch the surface you would realise that all this while , when a motive was being established or created depending on which side u r , the convicts have stayed silent and displayed a nonchalance that is amusing and scary at the same time. There is this amazing line that I read somewhere which went like," There are some men who cant be reasoned with. They dont treat murder as a crime. They are amused by it and the victim is their toy."
Personally I am yet to see or meet someone like this in person but I find it superbly interesting to read about these cases. But the catch is that what u read is what a third party percieves the case as , so u can never really reach the ABSOLUTE TRUTH if there is any. In normal cases anyway, our opinions are influenced by what we read and see. But have u ever tried going into the brain of a psychopath and see what really goes on in there that provides the drive for so much havoc he creates. One of the most horrific accounts that I have read is of a person who had a chance encounter with a serial-killer and he was pinned down and about to be axed when he saw the attacker's face. He could clearly recall that the face was as innocent as a little child's and had a constant smile on it. For some inexplicable reason, the attacker spared this guy but scarred him for life.He recounts the horror he faces everyday of his existence when he closes his eyes and sees those crystal clear eyes gleaming down on him.
The thing to notice about the horror here is not of the deed itself but the intent behind it which takes the fear to another level. In other words if there is a reason behind such an act atleast the mind can see reason and react accordingly but if someone is just playing and enjoying the process of killing so much, the fear is enough to make anyone go numb.
If one starts to get down to a reason behind the mind of man turning so violent, there could be any number of reasons. Most notably, repression, lifelong restrictions, childhood abuse or even something as innocuous as a snatched toy. The seed of extreme resentment is sown when one is faced with restriction or separation from something one loves or even a backstab from a loved one. For a fickle mind , its very easy to blame society for it and ask for revenge from everyone. There is no reason behind it but all the negative energy that gets stored in the brain such as anger and physicality takes a coldly brutal form in certain cases and creates what one calls a cold blooded, mass-murdering psychopath.
Moving to the other side and viewing it from civil society's perspective , its common sense to go by convention and tag a psychopath as anti-social and a criminal. And on the question of empathy , psychopaths deserve zero marks , again as per societal norms. Keeping this aside, isnt it a fact that these people are the creation of this very society that now chooses to disown them. Arent these psychopaths honest about their intent unlike us -- the members of society , who say something, mean something else and do something totally different. If u judge by character who wud u deem better, a chameleon or a tiger. Yes i may get raised eyebrows and a few chuckles for comparing a psychopath to a tiger but the point is of a single-minded honest intent. Still, nothing justifies taking human lives and all respect should be accorded to it, but judging people on the basis of a criterion that is itself created by flawed humans is a bit misplaced isnt it ???
So, who really is the psychopath?? The demented murderer who kills in cold blood or the scheming calculating civil person who kills by manipulation.
In am yet to figure out but isnt it a tough choice anyway ??
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The moment of truth .....
All of us define our reality in our own particular way. All our impressions, our reactions, our impulses and our way of thinking are shaped up by those BIG moments of truth we have encountered. To state the truth, all these supposed moments of truth are moments when failures has reigned supreme. It could be failure to achieve what u set out to, failure at love , failure at a professional level etc. Its a design flaw written into the human DNA to measure reality by failure. Its what they call the DARK patches in life.
Recently, I interacted with a guy who had stars in his eyes and dreams for his pocket. In his CV he had mentioned that he has never faced failure in his life. Enough to raise eyebrows and invite a volley of questions and cross-questions on his logic. The point here is , how can one not face failure in life. After all we are humans , we are not perfect, we will surely make mistakes and if we are smart enough, even learn from them.
There is a general tendancy among people of trying to avoid sympathy by hiding their worst fears or failures under the farce of inner strength and self-reliance. But come to think of it can you really stop someone from feeling something for you , be it sympathy or anything else. At best you convey the dire need of support you may have by acting strong. No one is follish enough not to read between the lines and understand what someone is going through. We ,soo underestimate the power of TONE when we speak. Everything isnt contained in the words as all the intelligent readers of this may already know.
Coming to the point of MOMENTS OF TRUTH, Just like anyone else, I have had points in life when I have had to go 20 steps backwards to move 5 forward. For an emotional fool like me , this problem was even more compounded by the percieved negativity about a mishap which was much higher than the actual figure.
The word mishap is used very loosely here so just read on and u r free to disagree as always ::
One of the first setbacks I had in life which I had taken rather too hard on me was flunking in 4 subjects out of 6 in my 12th board exams. For ppl who know me, it is quite obvious that it wudnt have affected me too much personally and I wud have been as nonchalant as always. But considering the stakes here viz,BOARD exams and parental expectations, this was sacrilege. What totally shook me up wasnt the ugly marksheet but my mother's breaking down on seeing it. Today I look back at it as one of those moments when I really really caused my mother to hang her head in shame and yes I have grown up and all but the little boy inside sometimes comes out and tries to turrn those pages backwards to try reverse what happened,screw the marks ,atleast the crying part....
The second major mishap is related to my best friend. As already mentioned, my nonchalance to anything was partly due to my taking it for granted that whatever happens my best friend would be there with me. We connected at a level that was wayy beyond conventional friendships. He was that brother who I had the luck to choose on this planet. He was my backbone,my support system. I used to be fearless to the point of being arrogant. And then god played one of his little games to make me see the fragility of life and dreams. One fine day on a hot summer afternoon I get a call saying he has left us. I was too shocked to even react and too stunned to cry. I very silently went to his place and saw him wrapped in white cloth. I still remember I din cry one tear even when i gave him a shoulder to be taken to the cremation ground. I was silent for 3 hours after that and only in the night after coming home and checking my cellphone for any missed calls did I break down!! I experienced the thing about bad news, no matter how hard you try escaping it , u cant and its better to take it on the chin than shy away from it..
Two major incidents that are as fresh as ever in my mind. Two incidents that have made me or shaped me , whatever u may want to call it. I know 2 is too lesss but the other moments are for some other day and its a promise that I will write about them too.
For the time being , the first moment had an anti-thesis when I got my first job and this time both my parents cried, for obvious reasons of course( being the only son in a filmy family does that u know!! :D) ...
And I am still in touch with my best friend, dont ask how... coz the explanation could send me to an assylum. I will say just this that I talk to him regularly ....
Moments of Truth... aaah Life can be such a mess but thats when the beauty of it comes out !! I know you wont understand what am talking about , but you would someday... :D
Recently, I interacted with a guy who had stars in his eyes and dreams for his pocket. In his CV he had mentioned that he has never faced failure in his life. Enough to raise eyebrows and invite a volley of questions and cross-questions on his logic. The point here is , how can one not face failure in life. After all we are humans , we are not perfect, we will surely make mistakes and if we are smart enough, even learn from them.
There is a general tendancy among people of trying to avoid sympathy by hiding their worst fears or failures under the farce of inner strength and self-reliance. But come to think of it can you really stop someone from feeling something for you , be it sympathy or anything else. At best you convey the dire need of support you may have by acting strong. No one is follish enough not to read between the lines and understand what someone is going through. We ,soo underestimate the power of TONE when we speak. Everything isnt contained in the words as all the intelligent readers of this may already know.
Coming to the point of MOMENTS OF TRUTH, Just like anyone else, I have had points in life when I have had to go 20 steps backwards to move 5 forward. For an emotional fool like me , this problem was even more compounded by the percieved negativity about a mishap which was much higher than the actual figure.
The word mishap is used very loosely here so just read on and u r free to disagree as always ::
One of the first setbacks I had in life which I had taken rather too hard on me was flunking in 4 subjects out of 6 in my 12th board exams. For ppl who know me, it is quite obvious that it wudnt have affected me too much personally and I wud have been as nonchalant as always. But considering the stakes here viz,BOARD exams and parental expectations, this was sacrilege. What totally shook me up wasnt the ugly marksheet but my mother's breaking down on seeing it. Today I look back at it as one of those moments when I really really caused my mother to hang her head in shame and yes I have grown up and all but the little boy inside sometimes comes out and tries to turrn those pages backwards to try reverse what happened,screw the marks ,atleast the crying part....
The second major mishap is related to my best friend. As already mentioned, my nonchalance to anything was partly due to my taking it for granted that whatever happens my best friend would be there with me. We connected at a level that was wayy beyond conventional friendships. He was that brother who I had the luck to choose on this planet. He was my backbone,my support system. I used to be fearless to the point of being arrogant. And then god played one of his little games to make me see the fragility of life and dreams. One fine day on a hot summer afternoon I get a call saying he has left us. I was too shocked to even react and too stunned to cry. I very silently went to his place and saw him wrapped in white cloth. I still remember I din cry one tear even when i gave him a shoulder to be taken to the cremation ground. I was silent for 3 hours after that and only in the night after coming home and checking my cellphone for any missed calls did I break down!! I experienced the thing about bad news, no matter how hard you try escaping it , u cant and its better to take it on the chin than shy away from it..
Two major incidents that are as fresh as ever in my mind. Two incidents that have made me or shaped me , whatever u may want to call it. I know 2 is too lesss but the other moments are for some other day and its a promise that I will write about them too.
For the time being , the first moment had an anti-thesis when I got my first job and this time both my parents cried, for obvious reasons of course( being the only son in a filmy family does that u know!! :D) ...
And I am still in touch with my best friend, dont ask how... coz the explanation could send me to an assylum. I will say just this that I talk to him regularly ....
Moments of Truth... aaah Life can be such a mess but thats when the beauty of it comes out !! I know you wont understand what am talking about , but you would someday... :D
Monday, September 20, 2010
Friendship/Love/Both/Thin Line .... Aaaaarrrghhhhh !!!
I was to start on something else when suddenly a song was piolayed on Laptop from a crappy movie that release last year with music from a maestro and lyrics by a genius. The song tried to convey the love of a man for his woman via the acknowledgement of friendship.
Now, how often have we faced a situation where we counsel our friends or someone we know about the feelings they have for someone or their perception of feelings on the other side. I am quite sure a lot of you would agree that while counselling someone all of us do a little jig inside our head for sounding relatively saint-like and very correct, being completely aware that in real life we have committed the same mistakes that we are warning people about. That little jig though depends on how well u cud play the saint.. :D 9 out of 10 times the person at the recieveing end would be convinced and give you a hug for understanding him/her so well...
Picture this, that very person from the next day onwards starts staying in touch with you more often and hails you for ur non-judgemental nature. Before you know , he/she is sharing their most intimate secrets with you and you being the NICEST(??) person on earth gives a friendly ear to all that. Can anyone tell if that sharing and hailing is just out of admiration or something more deeper. My guess is everyone would get a bit cynical in the garb of being practical and say a big NO. But the question remains, can you really tell.
You could surely claim that, you know that person and have discussed this personally with him/her,no holds barred. But its quite impossible to truly know if that person genuinely said what he did or he did it out of the FEAR OF LOSING A FRIEND.
So how does it develop really? Its the question that has had books written about , films and songs created on and it still continues to intrigue thinkers and die-hard romantics alike. One major problem is that our notion of love and its nature is most often defined by its depiction in films and other media. So when two people get into a relationship and the notion is confronted by a reality check(read: non-expresson , time crunch, lack of romance , too normal!!), people develop feet of clay.
More often than not, when one starts getting closer to someone on an emotional level what sows the seeds of a deeper connect is the most normal sense of comfort one feels when that person is around. In simpler words one is at ease with oneself. And this can happen both ways ,girl or boy. Once the comfort level is established the feeling of not being judged on what one says or does and of being able to be urself cements that feeling. The next possible question that arises is,"Is there something more to it than just friendship? Is he/she more special than what I am taking him/her to be? ".
There is nothing wrong in feeling this way but the point is that this thought crosses one's mind sometime or the other. If one is lucky the feeling is reciprocated on the other side,if not well... being a good friend is the next logical step but it carries a hell of a lot of adjustment with it. If one is strong enough, one can make it through but it does test one's patience.
So the question remains , when can one really tell friendship from love. The jury is out!! Make ur own interpretations. I have tried, suffered, laughed , cried and have made my own definitions about the same and yes those are rounded by aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !! :)
Now, how often have we faced a situation where we counsel our friends or someone we know about the feelings they have for someone or their perception of feelings on the other side. I am quite sure a lot of you would agree that while counselling someone all of us do a little jig inside our head for sounding relatively saint-like and very correct, being completely aware that in real life we have committed the same mistakes that we are warning people about. That little jig though depends on how well u cud play the saint.. :D 9 out of 10 times the person at the recieveing end would be convinced and give you a hug for understanding him/her so well...
Picture this, that very person from the next day onwards starts staying in touch with you more often and hails you for ur non-judgemental nature. Before you know , he/she is sharing their most intimate secrets with you and you being the NICEST(??) person on earth gives a friendly ear to all that. Can anyone tell if that sharing and hailing is just out of admiration or something more deeper. My guess is everyone would get a bit cynical in the garb of being practical and say a big NO. But the question remains, can you really tell.
You could surely claim that, you know that person and have discussed this personally with him/her,no holds barred. But its quite impossible to truly know if that person genuinely said what he did or he did it out of the FEAR OF LOSING A FRIEND.
So how does it develop really? Its the question that has had books written about , films and songs created on and it still continues to intrigue thinkers and die-hard romantics alike. One major problem is that our notion of love and its nature is most often defined by its depiction in films and other media. So when two people get into a relationship and the notion is confronted by a reality check(read: non-expresson , time crunch, lack of romance , too normal!!), people develop feet of clay.
More often than not, when one starts getting closer to someone on an emotional level what sows the seeds of a deeper connect is the most normal sense of comfort one feels when that person is around. In simpler words one is at ease with oneself. And this can happen both ways ,girl or boy. Once the comfort level is established the feeling of not being judged on what one says or does and of being able to be urself cements that feeling. The next possible question that arises is,"Is there something more to it than just friendship? Is he/she more special than what I am taking him/her to be? ".
There is nothing wrong in feeling this way but the point is that this thought crosses one's mind sometime or the other. If one is lucky the feeling is reciprocated on the other side,if not well... being a good friend is the next logical step but it carries a hell of a lot of adjustment with it. If one is strong enough, one can make it through but it does test one's patience.
So the question remains , when can one really tell friendship from love. The jury is out!! Make ur own interpretations. I have tried, suffered, laughed , cried and have made my own definitions about the same and yes those are rounded by aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !! :)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The only passion that has lasted me .....
Let me start with a question first up? When does one realise that something means more to us than anything else? or let me rephrase... when does one realise that something in life is worth giving up anything for??
There could be as many answers as the people it has been posed to for the simple reason that passion is not a simply defined term that is same for everyone. It differs from person to person. For me personally, passion can be described in word .... CINEMA
Yes that oft repeated cliche of a word that is very loosely a passion for any person who crosses the streets of this country or has a respectable job or carries out his daily chores. The first desire any one may have had would be of BECOMING A HERO. In a country driven by the madness of cricket and movies, it is very understandable how ordinary men and women rise up to the level of gods and goddesses. It is nothing but a telling statement on the sheer magnetic power of the beautiful medium of cinema that gives a collective vent to the dreams of millions , the anguish of another billion and delivers hope and joy to trillions worldwide.
My first brush with cinema was in 1989 when my mom and dad took their 4 yr old son(urs truly!!) to Shiela theater in north delhi for the evening show of Sooraj Barjatya's Salman Khan and Bhagyashree starrer Maine Pyaar Kiya. Truth be told, i dont remember much of that experience but i do have vague images of my mom getting teary eyed right before the interval. I evidently wasnt in the frame of mind to understand what the fuss was all about but after seeing the movie again (all grown up now!! :D) it does ring a bell.
My second big movie impact was when I was taken to see the Amitabh Bachchan starrer HUM. Now the pre-release hype for the film was enormous ,riding on Bachchan's comeback and the absolutely foot-tapping crowd pleaser of a song --JUMMA CHUMMA. My mom and dad being thr biggest Bachchan fans had already made a big hype abt catching it first day first show. As we sat in the seats and the theater began to reverberate with anticipation I felt a thrill that would change my life forever.... and as soon as Amitabh Bachchan appeared as TIGER in all his roaring glory... all hell broke loose.
The impact was too hard to be taken away... At that very moment my passion had been fixed. What intrigued me was , what power does this art-form possess to send millions collectively into a mad frenzy.
Over the years this interest turned passion turned mad obsession has become so overpowering that the biggest high I get is when film something on camera(digital or otherwise!) , edit it and then show it to the ppl it is intended for!!
One statement that has left a deep impact on my psyche is by the film-maker avant garde Ram Gopal Verma. Known for his clutter-breaking approach towards creating cinema, when he was questioned about the intention behind making BHOOT, he replied," Bhoot has no ghosts for the first 30 minutes , but those are the most scary parts according to the audience. As a director I love the power of manipulating the collective psyche of a 500 strong audience and seeing how they react if i unsettle them using camera and sound only."
On this journey of understanding cinema and trying to create some of my own , I have discovered a few truths about myself as well. To quote an example my father pawned his books to watch Raj Kapoor's Bobby by travelling to Agra all the way from Faridabad and never took his books back.. and my mother stood for hours outside Kamal Hassan's house just to get a glimpse of him while studying in Chennai. Not to mention, both have seen SHOLAY close to 20 times..
This passion is then.. Genetic I guess... :)
There could be as many answers as the people it has been posed to for the simple reason that passion is not a simply defined term that is same for everyone. It differs from person to person. For me personally, passion can be described in word .... CINEMA
Yes that oft repeated cliche of a word that is very loosely a passion for any person who crosses the streets of this country or has a respectable job or carries out his daily chores. The first desire any one may have had would be of BECOMING A HERO. In a country driven by the madness of cricket and movies, it is very understandable how ordinary men and women rise up to the level of gods and goddesses. It is nothing but a telling statement on the sheer magnetic power of the beautiful medium of cinema that gives a collective vent to the dreams of millions , the anguish of another billion and delivers hope and joy to trillions worldwide.
My first brush with cinema was in 1989 when my mom and dad took their 4 yr old son(urs truly!!) to Shiela theater in north delhi for the evening show of Sooraj Barjatya's Salman Khan and Bhagyashree starrer Maine Pyaar Kiya. Truth be told, i dont remember much of that experience but i do have vague images of my mom getting teary eyed right before the interval. I evidently wasnt in the frame of mind to understand what the fuss was all about but after seeing the movie again (all grown up now!! :D) it does ring a bell.
My second big movie impact was when I was taken to see the Amitabh Bachchan starrer HUM. Now the pre-release hype for the film was enormous ,riding on Bachchan's comeback and the absolutely foot-tapping crowd pleaser of a song --JUMMA CHUMMA. My mom and dad being thr biggest Bachchan fans had already made a big hype abt catching it first day first show. As we sat in the seats and the theater began to reverberate with anticipation I felt a thrill that would change my life forever.... and as soon as Amitabh Bachchan appeared as TIGER in all his roaring glory... all hell broke loose.
The impact was too hard to be taken away... At that very moment my passion had been fixed. What intrigued me was , what power does this art-form possess to send millions collectively into a mad frenzy.
Over the years this interest turned passion turned mad obsession has become so overpowering that the biggest high I get is when film something on camera(digital or otherwise!) , edit it and then show it to the ppl it is intended for!!
One statement that has left a deep impact on my psyche is by the film-maker avant garde Ram Gopal Verma. Known for his clutter-breaking approach towards creating cinema, when he was questioned about the intention behind making BHOOT, he replied," Bhoot has no ghosts for the first 30 minutes , but those are the most scary parts according to the audience. As a director I love the power of manipulating the collective psyche of a 500 strong audience and seeing how they react if i unsettle them using camera and sound only."
On this journey of understanding cinema and trying to create some of my own , I have discovered a few truths about myself as well. To quote an example my father pawned his books to watch Raj Kapoor's Bobby by travelling to Agra all the way from Faridabad and never took his books back.. and my mother stood for hours outside Kamal Hassan's house just to get a glimpse of him while studying in Chennai. Not to mention, both have seen SHOLAY close to 20 times..
This passion is then.. Genetic I guess... :)
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