Recently there was an ad campaign taken out by Coke which mentioned 'Little Drops of Joy'. Now I am no judge of what is meant here but if I had to draw something out of it it may be of enjoyinh those little moments that actually mean a lot more than a lot of potentially BIG moments. Everyone who has been through ups and downs or has seen both the bright and dark sides of life would have have experienced those little moments when time seems to have stopped and when adrenalin courses through the veins. All of us want to dream big and achieve bigger and at times the dream itself weighs so much on itself that we miss enjoying the journey in the search for the end-goal. In most cases the realization of falling in love with the journey dawns upon us once its over which kind of takes the fun out of achieving what we set out to.
Talking of this journey , there is another school of thought which talks about 'joining the dots'. In simple words it refers to the structure of life being a series of significant moments that defined the direction one takes and joining them while restrospecting on the journey undertaken. But isnt this an insult to the relatively lesser significant 'dots' that constitute the pathway between two bigger dots. Isnt the journey bigger than the goals to be achieved. Confusing aint it? This is a question everyone faces but does not find the time to answer as we are so busy in working towards that one thing we seem to want most in life that we brush aside the other things in its quest.
On a very personal level, I have never really jumped up in joy when something seemingly important has happened in life. Its a strange thing I have faced all my life. I will make it clearer. Imagine you recieve a letter consisting of some good news. It could be anything. Now imagine everyone around you is jumping up and down and pulling you to dance with them. But you are strangely not feeling any euphoria. You are just standing silently wondering what the fuss is all about.
Now reverse the situation. Something has happened and you feel like clenching your fist and yelling out the victorious cry of YESSSSSSSSSS. You run around in euphoria and imagine the world to be as affected by this thing as you are but there is this strange sense of coldness emanating from everyone. And you feel like an idiot that you are giving it so much importance when no one gives a damn really.
Strange dichotomy but am sure everyone has gone through it. Talking of dots in life I have had my share of big moments when people around me were thrilled to bits but i dint seem to care and came across as arrogant and as someone who did not respect what he had got. Tell me one thing , how can lack of euphoria be a mark of disrespect? Is jumping up and down and running around and calling a 100 people, the way to show respect and value you have for the thing bestowed on you. Arent we dealing with perception here when people who know you feel they have the right to judge you and expect you to behave in a certain way and if you dont you seem to be not so allright.
To give you a few examples of dots in my life -- (defined by others as significant!!)
--The day I managed to get a percentage above 80% in the 12th boards, as I was expected to flunk in them. I knew I wudnt but then it was a BIG DEAL. Come on 12th boards , college admissions , the world is my oyster!!! ;)
-- The day I managed to clear a shitty maths olympiad which tested basic algebra. All India man and a certificate to boot. Great colleges , here I come. Am an All India certified competetive student in Maths especially Algebra -- I scored 54/100 by the way but what the hell I cleared it!!! Celebrations!!!
-- Going to the aweful Parent Teacher sessions and travelling the entire school to meet each and every teacher with my embarassed parents. And all i got for the exercise(??) " Abhimanyu seems a smart chap but is very talkative. He needs to pull up his socks" . and the subsequent address by mum n dad on how their reputation is riding on me and how they are answerable to 4 people in the society!! for some inexplicable reason the number stopped at 4!! At that time I used to feel are they answerable to the maid even for me not getting a top rank in the class?? grrrrrrrr
-- Being told by my idiotic Physics prof in the 12th standard Mr.U.S.A.(Before u get any ideas dirt or otherwise, USA means Uttam Singh Arora!!) that I am not fit for the technical field and another round of heartfelt agony vented on me by mum n dad!!
--Getting into an Engineering college ... Yippee!! secure jobs and the world of machines and a lifelong immunity from socio-emotional presssures of answerablity. :)
-- My failure to clear any MBA entrance exam of repute.. future doors closed... damn I am screwed . What did my parents toil all their life for? This hour of shame ... hung head !! :(
-- My first paycheck at Accenture... Oh man the first salary ever... actually I never managed to win any monetary award or any other for that matter so getting some cash under my belt was an ego-boost like no other!!! Yes am earning now!! :)
-- Getting a percentile of 96+ in CAT 2008!! Man oh man , one full year of slogging for quant , DI and verbal and finally getting lucky that the guy who set the paper kind of had an idea that I would depend on Verbal to save my ass!!! God exists!!! and yes he did give me a bitch of a boss to contend with and he gave me my moment of the year when I submitted my papers before her and she approved my resignation!! Goodbye stupid job and goodbye evil boss!!! IMT here I come!!! :)
Now for the dots that I hold dear to me --- defined by me , experienced by me and posted by me too!! :)
-- My first crush on a girl in the 11th standard and my subsequest attempt to get to meet her which I was successfull in, only to realise that , that was the last time I will ever meet her. Fear of rejection, oh man ask me how that works. Mind chokes , sweat appears , blabber happens, bills are paid by you only and what you get is a ' Did you say something?' Damn .. Love hurts!!! :(
-- The first time I ever got into a fight with someone in school. Looking back at it am surprised what could have pushed me to hit that guy so hard... oh violent streak!! ahem ... interesting!! :)
-- My first ever date with a girl I was head over heals in love with from school time itself. The date was fixed by me on the pretext of sharing the 'school farewell' pics with her and did she look gorgeous!! White top, blue jeans , unbound hair and a pair of specs.. She looked like I had imagined her in my dreams.. Its been close to 10 years now since that day but it is still as fresh. As usual Love hurt a second time!!! :(
-- The day I lost my friend. If ever there was a moment when I felt like running away from everything, it was giving him a shoulder. At that very moment I was reminded of a joke we used to laugh on 'of turning into ghosts and possesing each other's bodies and having fun at the other's expense'. I am still searching for him and he hasnt shown up yet ....
--My first ever interview for Infosys where I was asked If i could recite a TAAL since I had mentioned that I knew to play the Tabla and i made up something then and there and had him laughing since he could not make head or tail of what I had just recited.. Learnt a lesson that day.. Conviction works like nothing else and if you can follow that up with intelligent sounding shit .. you are on the ball!!! :)
-- Getting two timed by a girl and being told this in no uncertain terms and getting all heart broken and behaving like Devdas for two days. Man gimme a Gaali and shoo me off I would take that but please no two timing and all.. The sudden loss of importance hurts like hell!! hehehe vain me!!! :)
-- Falling in love and then going though the whole nine yards of friendship, love, romance, not to mention dates and then heartbreak and eventual separation.. Important as it made me understand myself better but sincerely wish that she is happy and has no bad memories from it. :)
-- Meeting someone just once and then building a friendship for life. Something needs to be super-special for a connect like this to form. I am lucky to have it and have tried not to decipher how this thing works. Its easier this way coz it involves no effort. Its the level of ease that I experience and I hope so does she. :)
-- In a very small part, being part of the cricket team at accenture and living the dream of raising my bat to the stands. hehehe I went in at number 11 and had a match winning partnership of 30 runs scoring 12 runs with one boundary!! Imagine what I did when i smashed an arrogant bowler to the stand --- I raised my bat as if I had scored a century.. man that was thrilling!!! :)
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These and a lot more form the dots that make my life. On reading this if you are treminded of some such incidents when you actually felt ecstatic or sad but they hold significance, try holding on to them. These are the moments that have shaped the real you. Seriously!!
I will tell you what, this blog itself is a little joy in itself as I feel like a little child being given the freedom to express!!!
Damn this is fun!!!!! :)
nice one!!!
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